I am a Year 6 student at Edmund Hillary School in Auckland, NZ. I am in Room 9 and my teacher is Roya. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first draft. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Kia ora Tiannah, thank you for sharing your lovely descriptive writing! I like how you have used adjectives and personification to develop your mood. In descriptive writing it is best to write it in present tense (as if it's happening right now) - your sentence "I see trees and mountains, I feel the breeze" is a perfect example of this.
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Kia ora Tiannah, thank you for sharing your lovely descriptive writing! I like how you have used adjectives and personification to develop your mood. In descriptive writing it is best to write it in present tense (as if it's happening right now) - your sentence "I see trees and mountains, I feel the breeze" is a perfect example of this.
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